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February 22, 2007


Haven Rich

OH Poor Julie! I'd be at wits end by now.

I separate my worries in to two groups.

1) My businesses
2) My personal

With my business stuff I'm a nut. I can begin panicking over something that's just a simple inconvenience to others. Having any of my websites go down would have me needing anxiety pills...oh wait, I already take those. Ok they'd have to up my dose haha. I mean like you we have a fan base, not as huge, but they are just as important. If those fans can't see my site they might give up looking. Meaning I failed.

I can't have that! I would have become fast not-so-much friends with the "tech" guys, to the point where they knew me by name.

Now to the personal. I'm a very mellow person in my personal stuff. I made brownies yesterday and got sick while they were baking. They ended up baking for an extra 10 minutes. That's ok, they can be tossed out and new ones made. The ps2 suddenly decides to play disks as it's mood sees fit. Ok, I'll just do something else. My husband has a horrid day at work due to his boss being a twit. Well, sorry dear but tomorrow will be better. Heck even when he came home the day before Thanksgiving this past year and told me they had laid him off, I didn't even stress over the bills. We would be ok...and we are. The worst of them, the docs told me I was REALLY sick. I didn't cry, scream, get angry. I did get a bit depressed but got over that.

What's sorta funny is right now I have Salmonella from that peanut butter, I was late getting that memo lol. Despite being really sick for the past week, I've still gotten up and worked out. Even if I'm barely able to do anything else, I work out. Hey, I want to look good in Dallas for Nationals this year hehe.

Do these two worlds meet? Sometimes. Like the night I was hosting a chat and the internet server went down...I was wondering around the house like a crazy person and even snapped at my husband. To which he replied that I don't act that way and needed to calm down.

I suppose the best you can do is know what sends your life in to frantic panics and what doesn't bother you. At least then you can get a bit of warning before you go nutty lol.

BTW Julie, I agree with the one guy, switch servers! It's not that hard to make a switch and if your site has been down anyhow, what's a few more hours (to make the switch). Now I think I'm going to email my host guy, because he IS the tech support and thank him for keeping on top of things!

Haven Rich

Oh Ps. I sorta had a feeling you were having trouble back before you even told me. I had posted a few replies to your topics and they would show up for a little while but then disappear. I figured they got sucked into the great beyond, or someone removed them.

Anyhow, I hope things get better!

Kathy K

"Deep breaths. You're SERENE, dammit!" LOL...I love the increasing lack of serenity Julie, but I can totally relate!

I am a worrier by nature, but over the past few years that's eased a LOT; why, I'm not 100% sure, probably a combination of things, but I have learned to relax.
I can remember a couple of instances where I'd worry about my dad being home late and my mom would say "No news is good news; if something happened we would hear about it."
Okay...step one.
Then there were the times that I'd worry over something that had happened and how I hadn't behaved / done how / what I thought I should have; my dad would say "There's nothing that you can do about it now, it's done, you have to go from here."
Okay...step two.
Not that I integrated either of the steps that quickly ~ HA! ~ it took me years, but they were my touchstones. Still are, 'cause it's pretty hard to change a lifetime of things being just so, but I'm much more relaxed about it all.

As for tech support ~ that's what Joe's for, or our son Stephen...I'm not much of a tech person even though I worked for six years in the computer department at Imperial Oil / Esso Resources. Sometimes I can be kind of intuitive about mechanical stuff, but if I can't figure out what it is I cede control over to those in my family that can do, or at least have the patience to work at it. *grin* I certainly have no patience!

But if the problem is related to people, I'm on it: give me the people problems and I can work with those and take the time needed. It's all about different capabilities for me.

Hope your technical problems are all in the past; sure don't want your serenity threatened now do we??
How could you continue to write those incredible stories that keep people like me sane, if all else in your world is going crazy. LoL

And I love the little footnote to your what-if scenario regarding your Mayor Newsom...cute, really cute! {Note the "Your Mayor"...hehehe}

Take care, take a deep breath and HOLD!

Julie Anne Long

Hey Haven!! I know, it's funny -- you mention categorization of "worries," and it's so true. In recent years, I've more or less neatly handled life events that would have sent me into a major tailspin when I was much younger -- maturity and experience helps us learn how to handle things with a certain amount of grace and equanimity and philosophy. One hopes, anyway. :) But certain *other* things, things that perhaps directly affect our egos and deepest wishes and what we think other people think of us, sometimes remain areas of vulnerability. And so we flip out when things fall apart in those areas. LOL. But you know...if something really *is* beyond our control, if there's nothing we can do to influence an event, you might as well turn into the event the way you would turn into a skid on the road. :) Who knows where it might lead, or what you might learn from it? It's all like that "Maybe, Maybe Not" stuff up there. For instance, I spend a lot of time -- and it's really fun for me -- coming up with new contests for people every month, and a know several thousand people have come to rely on visiting my contests each month. But this month huge patches of time went by where NO ONE could enter. And I hate advertising a contest that no one is able to enter!! I worried that no one will come back. But now I'm contemplating moving my web stuff to a server that does a monthly newsletter, which might help bring more people to the site. You never know where things might lead. :)

The funny thing is -- i've been really happy with my web service provider for about 4 or 5 years, but they were acquired twice, and the transition to this latest owner has been painful, to say the least. Moving servers might mean a couple of solid days of downtime. I'll have to plan for it.

And re your comments disapearing -- if you tried to post a comment last night, I noticed Typepad has been wigging out a bit yesterday. Usually I have no trouble just pasting copy in from Word -- Typepad doesn't have a problem interpreting characters like EM dashes or quotation marks -- but last night it converted all those to ascii characters, so I had to go through and re-type certain characters. They're going to do maintenance on the 26th, which means it'll be REALLY down.:)

And Kathy -- do you think getting older, and surviving a few ordeals makes ensuing situations seem like much LESS of an ordeal, so that's why you worry less? Maturity, and all that? And I laughed at what your Dad said...simply because this exactly how most men think, and why I often find them quite bolstering (when they're not being maddening). Men seem to be more naturally "in the moment" I think, and women trend toward the worrying. :)

I'm actually pretty comfortable with technical stuff -- at least computer-related technical stuff -- mostly because I worked in places for years where we were immersed in technology, computers, etc. I know the lingo, I know the drill. Which is why it was so maddening to not get past those operators -- you can't brush me off with some random technical-sounding excuse for why my server is down. I'll know I'm being brushed off. I want the REAL reason. LOL.

So I'm not ready to call the problem fixed quite yet, since I was told umpteen times that it WAS fixed when it wasn't. I'm going to wait a week or so, and if I experience no trouble, then I'll call it fixed.

Gorgeous sunny day here today!! How about you guys?? I saw a photo of that ten-foot snow in NY -- I've never seen anything like that in my life!!! I was blown away!!

Julie Anne Long

P.S. You heard it here first -- we have a title for my first Avon book -- THE PERILS OF PLEASURE. :) What do you guys think??

Kathy K

I missed the snow pic; so glad that it's not here. I'm also guessing that because it's down east and so close to the water that that snow is wet & heavy...that kind of snow we get here once in awhile and it's not fun! I'll take the big, fluffy flakes, thanks very much!

And I think a lot of the reason that I've managed to mellow out some is exactly because of the life experiences (& surviving depression, etc) and getting older and realizing that "hey, my home doesn't have to look like a showplace...it's a *home* and I have 4 kids and I babysit."

I've learned to let go of the stuff that really doesn't matter. It'd be nice to think that it's from maturity...but I have my doubts about that sometimes. LOL
Great way to get my older daughters wound up though; showing them that, while I may be mom and all, there's still that young person inside just itching to get out from time to time. Gads, it's great to embarrass one's kids...but I'm pretty sure that I've said that before too. Hehehe

I have to admit I've always been impressed with the appearance of your site and what you put up on it, Julie. And it's very easy to get to what you want...there are quite a few websites around that are murder to navigate.
So continue the good work either on this server or another, 'cause it's nice to have a place to check out and visit that's as friendly as it is here!

Kathy K

That sounds like a terrific title! So, oh great guru, when does this book come out?? I mean, I'm guessing that it will be sometime after TSTS (and WHY isn't it May already? HUH??)
Oh, and I probably missed this, but if you're writing for Avon, does that mean you're no longer with Warner? Just curious. ^^

Oh and BTW, I adore that 'Maybe, Maybe not' fable; I've actually taken it for my blog today ~ if that' okay??


Ooh, like the title! :)

I'm a person who both worries too much (either about stuff that you should or shouldn't) or not at all (again, about stuff you should or shouldn't). I can sometimes get stuck on some stupid little thing and dwell on it for ages, and then something that I really need to devote time to, ah, why worry. LOL I'm a bit mixed up at times. :)

My only personal customer/tech support stories are the maybe handful of times I had to call Comcast but they were great. A) they were all in the US and spoke English and B) they knew what they were talking about and doing. Heck, I even called them when I was setting up the wireless connection when I first got my laptop because the internet wasn't working, and while it really wasn't a problem for them, they still helped me along to try things and it worked. So my own experiences have been very good.

Now, Mom and Verizon. . . ah, let's not go there. ;)


Julie Anne Long

You've made a fine distinction, Kathy, between "mellowing" and "maturity." LOL. I was talking with a friend of mine about this stuff a while back, and she mentioned some stuff her 80-year-old parents were going through, and you know, at any age you can feel brand new, or out of your depth, or learn something entirely new about yourself. :) I kind of like the idea of that -- age is chronological, but maturity is another thing altogether. There are all kinds of ways we can mature through the years. I say embarrass your kids all you want. They'll do the same, with glee, to their own kids, I'm sure. :)

And you're so sweet -- I'm so glad you like my site, Kathy!! I invested rather a lot of "me" in it, and time and work, so I hate it when it goes down. LOL. I feel like it represents me, in a way, so I like it to be consistently available. (Serenity, Julie. LOL.) And oh yeah, please take that fable!! I borrowed it from somewhere else, and I'm sure it's been borrowed a million times before. It's meant to be shared.

And thanks for reminding me -- another scoop for your guys: THE PERILS OF PLEASURE will be out in February 08! And Kathy, you goose -- you WERE hitting the cyber champagne pretty hard at the dance party in October, now that I recall! LOL. I'm teasing!! That was a party for both WTBW's release and for my move to Avon. So my next three books will be for Avon. So far I'm having a wonderful time. We've just arrived at a title and we're planning the cover. And TSTS will be out before you know it. I haven't received any ARCs for TSTS yet, so I should check on that. But I do have the 8.5 X 11 proofs, which I've been holding off on mailing to anyone -- they're bulky to read, etc. But I might get them to you and a few other gals in a few weeks or so. :) I don't want the "thrill" to wear off before the book is out. LOL. (God, I *hope* it's a thrill. LOL.)

Julie Anne Long

Lois -- Cool!! Glad you like the title!! And good worrying strategy you've got going there!! LOL. We (we humans) are brilliant at focusing on little things that take our minds off the larger things. I read this quote once that I love..."we'll get to the same destination whether we worry on the way there or not. Worrying is a choice."

Yeah, you know, I like Comcast, too! They've mostly been really helpful. And my original Web Host was tremendously helpful, too -- their tech support actually DID know what they were doing, and I only had to ever call them once. And that's good to know re Verizon. :) LOL. Oh man...cell phone companies. Cingular keeps forgetting that I'm PAYING to be able to take photos with my phone and send them places. So that feature stops working frequently, and I've called several times to get that re-instated. Maybe I should give up on technology and go live in the woods for a time like Thoreau. LOL.

Haven Rich

That's a wonderful title Julie! Congratulations!!

I'm so excited about this last book in this series. Plus I'm really jazzed about your upcoming books with Avon.

Julie Anne Long

Yay! Another vote of confidence from Haven for the title THE PERILS OF PLEASURE, aka TPOP. :) Which is an *awfully* fun acronym to say. I'm having a lot of fun with the story. Can't wait for it to see the light of day in book form!!

And I hope TSTS lives up to everyone's expectations, or at the very least entertains. :) I'm kind of sad to let go of the series, but I think those characters will get occasional cameos in my ensuing books, too. In fact, count on it. :)

Kathy K

Oops! I can't believe that I forgot that... um... ya, I vaguely remember something about that...uh, I do believe I ended up in the, um, bathroom???

Hehehe... And a great time was had by all!

And I'll certainly be looking forward to seeing some of our old friends..nice to keep up with what's happening in the lives
of our favourites.


Oh, worrying!
Strangely enough, I've been having many deep and meaningful conversations about this very topic.

I'm a pretty mellow person. Sometimes I let my imagination run wild and worry about the stupidest, most trivial things, but I always do it in private. Where I can scream into a pillow and hyperventilate alone. You know.

But usually I am a perfectly mellow person, and I believe this is in direct response to my incredibly worry-warty mum.

Great example: this weekend a friend and I went to Munich and Neuschwanstein. I didn't tell my mum (why would I? I'm old enough not to give her a ring when I'm on my way out), and there was a train accident in Scotland. Now, being my mum, she thought, "I should call my daughter who is living in Germany and ask if she's ok." When she called my home and got my (non-English-speaking) roommate, who didn't know where I was anyway, she started to panic. Her through processes went like this, I'm sure:
Omygod, Meara's in Europe, there was an accident in Scotland, she had a friend in Scotland, what if she's in Scotland? I'll email her. She hasn't replied. Ogod, what if she was in Scotland? I'll call her. She's not home, her roommates can't tell me anything, what if she went to visit said friend in Scotland, I have to get ahold of her, she's dead, lying in a ditch, she's in the hospital and can't call me, no one knows who she is, she lost all of her identification, why haven't the authorities called me yet OMYGOD! ...I'll call her cell."

And so she did. She got me in the middle of dinner in a busy restaurant in Munich, where she sounded like she was going to explode into tears. I had to spend some time calming her ("No, Mum, I'm in Bavaria. It's as far from Scotland as I can get in Germany. Yes, Mum, I'll be careful. But so will the Deutsche Bahn people. Yes, they are very safe. It's Germany, they're anal. Love you too, Mum. Love you. I'll call when I get back home. Love you too. Bye.")

My poor mum. I really can't make myself worry about anything now, because I see how sick it makes her.

But it is nice to have someone worry about me.

Julie Anne Long

Oh Mear, your mum story cracked me up! But yes, it is nice to have someone care enough about you to extrapolate disaster for her daughter in Germany from a train accident in Scotland. LOL. It's, um, *roughly* the same part of the world, after all. :) But maybe she just needs to get used to you being there before she's more comfortable with your absence -- has she visited you there yet, or been there before? Have you been away very long? She probably just misses you. :)

Yeah, the worrying thing: I'd really like to give up worrying altogether. I mean, *not* worrying doesn't mean you don't *care,* or don't feel strongly about something. The theory is you just act in the moment, and take care of things as they come up, without the attendant obsessive, distracted, thinking -- the "what if's?" -- and the knot in the stomach that worrying implies. It's hard!! Our busy little minds always want something to gnaw on.

I watched part of the Barbara Walters Special last night with Helen Mirren, who at 61 is suddenly everyone's favorite hottie. And she's quite a brilliant person, obviously quite comfortable with herself, and she's had very long career that really didn't "peak" (if we define "peak" as Oscar noms, recognition, etc.) until recent years. And she said this sort of career success only started happening when she stopped caring about whether it ever did, and decided to just be happy with her life as things were. :)


Great post, Julie! I've been thinking about the same things while I've been emersed in reading The Secret. Also after much research and reading, I've come to the realization that crappy Amazon reviews do not doom a book. On the contrary. The more crappy Amazon reviews a book has, the more likely it is to be a bestseller!

The only thing I disagreed with in your post was Clive Owens playing Connor. I heart Clive, but this is nonsense. Connor should be played by Gerard Butler. Possibly Jude Law. Potentially Leonardo DiCaprio.

That is all.

Julie Anne Long

Yeah, Michelle, my own "research" over the years sorta bears out your theory. LOL. For you guys reading this who aren't authors - -- Amazon's appeal to beginning authors is that it's *accessible,* which is why beginning authors sort of glom onto it, as authors really don't have ANY truly accurate predictors/ indicators of a book's overall success at least in its early days, and won't probably know for certain how well a book actually sold for many, many months. Amazon currently represents such a teeny, tiny percentage of romance sales, and that rank means very, very little. But it's there, and we can see it, so we glom. But you know you've reached a certain level of maturity in your authordom when you can genuinely stop yourself from looking at it, and when you *genuinely* stop caring. LOL. And it's definitely a test of being in the Now. If something makes you feel anxious or gives you an artificial little lift, then don't do it. If something doesn't help you do your best work, then don't do it. THose are my new rules of thumb. :)

Ah...see, the "problem" with Gerard Butler (ha! as if there are any *actual* problems with Gerard Butler) is that i want to cast him in EVERYTHING, all the time, so I've sort of elminated him from the running, because he's just a distraction. :) I saw Clive Owen on Charlie Rose and I just...gawked. LOL. I kept thinking, "Good LORD, but that's one beautiful-looking human." With the dark hair and hazel eyes and strong nose and all. Jude Law is a maybe...he's starting to look a little pinched to me, but I love those eyes. Leo, sadly, is a "nyet" for me. His face is too round. He depends on a beard to look mature. LOL. THough he's growing up rather nicely, so I'll give him a few years and then revisit the issue. :) Oh, you know who's back on the big screen, and whom I love love love, and who has the dark curly hair so dear to my heart?? Ioan Gruffudd, in Amazing Grace, which has gotten fabulous reviews. Every period movie needs Ioan Gruffudd. :)He can be Connor. Or Gideon.

See how easy it is to digress into lovely men??


Ooh, Clive Owen. Even though I've only seen him in four movies (Gosford Park, Closer, Sin City, and Inside Man), I really like him and think he's a great actor. :D

Julie, I'm sorry to hear about your recent computer troubles. I hope the problems have been resolved permanently.

Am I worrier by nature? I don't think so. Like everyone, I worry sometimes, but I'd say I'm more mellow than a worrier. Having said that, I also think that I worry more as an adult than when I was younger because I just didn't have too much to worry about as a child. I think I'm the type of person who tends to take a wait-and-see approach when there's an issue rather than leaping into the fray with guns blazing. :)

Julie Anne Long

Yeah, Diana, I haven't had a chance to see Clive Owen's latest, "Children of Men" yet, though I'm a huge P.D. James fan (she wrote the book it's based upon, and it's a big departure from her usual stuff), but it looks fabulous (if a trifle stressful). And he IS a great actor. And oh man...he's also an eye feast. LOL. But just for fun, here's a link to my man Ioan as Horatio Hornblower. Talk about looking lovely in uniform (scroll down to see it): http://www.ioan-central.com/gallery/view_photo.php?set_albumName=Hornblower_hires&id=060138586l_a_001

You sort of touch on an interesting point, Diana -- that predilection to worry. Are some of us genetically predisposed to it?? Is it nature or nurture?? As for me, I've decided to stop worrying about my damn tech problems. LOL. I had another note telling me they were solved for good, but those notes have traditionally, comically presaged yet another crash, so we'll see.

How are you liking all this rain?? :) Guess we need it, though it's making me groggy.


My only problem with Clive (who is very divine) is that he's much, much too...mature looking. He wouldn't look right with Keira Knightly, whom of course would play Becca. However, I will be available to do screentests if you need a second opinion. (casting couch anyone?)

And i will lend you my Hugh Jackman to play Gideon as he would be perfect for the role. But only this one time.

See? I don't need Amazon. I can waste time thinking about actors I'll never meet. Much more practical.

Kathy K

Clive Owen is hot, but my oh my *fans self*...Ioan Gruffud? Whoo-hee...dark hair, dark eyes, what's not to love??
Of the two of them, I can see Ioan more as either Connor (definitely!!) or Gideon, but that is directly related to personal preference. *sigh* To be young again! LOL

Today it's sunny out, thank god, but it's still cold. But on the whole, I'll take cold & sunny over warm & dreary ANY DAY! If I don't get enough sunshine I want to hibernate. Nice to know that I'm not the only one!
Hope your weather improves ~ I can try sending sun your way, but it may come with colder temps. ^.^

Julie Anne Long

Yeah, Kathy, Ioan Gruffud is beginning to nudge aside Gerard Butler as my go-to guy for hero casting(except Daniel Craig still gets to be Kit.) And I'm about to say something heretical, Michelle -- I'm just not as GAGA over Hugh Jackman as the rest of the world seems to be. LOL. I suppose he's quite lovely, but his features are so...neat? Tidy?? I dunno. And he seems so *nice.* LOL. I like the craggy, enigmatic sorts, I think. But hey, if HJ he's on loan, I'll take 'im off your hands for a while to see if I get to like him more. LOL. Good call re Keira Knightly!!

Weird weather here today -- rain/sun/rain/sun. It's supposed to be mostly clear tomorrow, which will be nice. And yes, Kathy, I like the sunshine, even if it comes with cold! I'll take some of yours if you're sharing. :) And you know, we don't get "warm and dreary" here. We don't get those humid sort of summers, or thunderstorms, or if we do, the thunderstorms are none too warm.


I do NOT like the rain that we've been experiencing at all. The loud storm and hail last night scared me. I'm just not used to that from our weather.

Julie Anne Long

I know, Diana -- the weather HAS been crazy. Snow on Bay Area peaks! Not unheard of, but not a common occurrence, either. That hail! That thunder!! Actually, I think thunder is kinda cool, but I don't have to commute in it anymore, so I can admire it from inside. The cat isn't crazy about it, however. :) And then there's that landslide of Telegraph hill and all those boulders falling down onto the Broadway/ Montgomery/ Sansome!! (the North Beach area of San Francisco, and streets with quite a lot of traffic). Actually, years ago I worked in that area, and the hill started coming down during heavy rains, and they briefly evacuated the floor I worked on just in case the hill came all the way down. Pretty wild.


I work in the North Beach area and had no idea until today that the landslide occurred in that area.

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