On getting physical

         Some years back, on a whim, I decided to buy a Personal Trainer (well, a few sessions with a Personal trainer) with my tax refund. I wanted a more ingrained exercise habit, and what better way to accomplish this than to hire a preternaturally fit person to stand over me and shame me into doing crunches?  Actually, it turned out to be one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. My trainer taught me how to lift weights without rupturing or dislocating things, and she figured out I was the sort who could be tricked into exercising when it involved things that seem like toys, so she convinced me to buy a mini-trampoline.  Voila! A new, vigorous me resulted in a few months, and vanity and economy (I can’t afford to gain weight, because I can’t afford a whole new wardrobe) along with the whole I-do-feel-better-when-I-exercise thing have helped me keep the habit more or less up even after my trainer and I bid each other adieu.

         But truthfully, though I was a typical bike-riding, tree-climbing little girl, I’ve just never been the athletic sort. I much preferred playing make-believe games at recess than anything involving a ball hurled in my direction. I got away with this all the way through sixth grade… and then came Junior High. Of the many fresh horrors that awaited me in seventh grade, P.E. class was probably the worst. We were issued blue polyester shorts and big blue and white striped (as befitted prisoners) shirts, and after the humiliation of getting undressed in front of other girls, some of whom already had breasts and most of whom reeked of Luv’s Baby Soft, the daily hour of humbling began. I was tall and skinny with posture like a question mark, and I wore thick glasses that bounced down to the tip of my nose when we ran laps around the field—I had to push them back up every few strides.  And OMG, running round and round and round that bloody field was bloody dull. I’d never felt more like Sisyphus in my life. 

         In high school, when we were allowed to choose which P.E. class to take, my friend Cindy and I decided to take “Handball/Weight Training, figuring we’d be the only girls in the class, and what better way to meet boys? The class turned out to be taught by Coach Ingram, who was also the football coach. He was tall and frighteningly muscular and had a glistening bald head the color of gingersnaps and a wandering eye. A literally wandering eye.  He’d be speaking to you, and one of his eyes would sort of drift off in another direction, as if bored with the conversation and searching for something more interesting to look at. (Ironically, his nickname was “Coach I.”)  He was intimidatingly cheerful and eccentric, and I’d once seen him wade into the middle of a big fight between dozens of players during a football game, lift them up one by one by the scruffs of their jerseys, and sort of fling them off to the side, as if clearing the field of detritus. He was grinning. He looked like he was having the time of his life.

         During the weight training portion of our class, Coach I would stroll through the weight room as everyone grunted and strained beneath the weights. “Sweat, my baby dumplings!” He’d roar by way of encouragement. “Sweat, you heifers!” The cutest boy in the school was his assistant, and as Cindy and I were utterly hapless, he was stuck helping us out.  It turned out to be deeply, deeply mortifying to be taught how to do Flies (chest exercises) by the cutest boy in the school, and nearly as mortifying when he had to help me do a pull up, as my legs thrashed and bicycled vainly in space as I struggled to haul my chin up over the bar. If this was a John Hughes movie, the cute boy would have found it charming, and we would have gone to the prom together. Instead, the entire time, he wore a politely blank expression through which suppressed hilarity occasionally peeked. He was a nice boy.

         Anyway, so Handball/Weight training resulted primarily in humiliation and handball-shaped bruises. I switched to swimming the following semester, which was taught by a hearty woman with a, shall we say, practical haircut who was rumored to be shacking up with my Geometry teacher, a tiny, weathered, very patient woman from Texas who rode to school every morning on an enormous Harley.  Oddly, I was better at swimming, but I managed to be stung by a bee on the thumb while I was in the pool. I also had a very stylish bathing suit that involved a drawstring that ran up the front of it and tied around my neck, and one day when I pulled myself up out of the water the suit went rolling down to my waist like Venetian blinds, giving the boy strolling by a great big eyeful of my breasts (I had acquired a pair by this time.)

         Sometimes I think the best thing about graduating from high school was the fact that I would never, ever, ever have to take P.E. again. It took a few years for me to disassociate humiliation with exercise, but I arrived there eventually.

         So how about any of you guys? Did you enjoy your P.E. classes? Were you any good at them? What’s the best/worst P.E. class you ever took? Do you exercise now?

Comments

[Christy]

I have a congenital heart condition and I was never allowed to participate in P.E. classes. So, I never had to worry about the dressing, undressing and showering that all of my friends complained about.

[Haven Rich]

Why is it you'll find more female coaches that enjoy the private life with another woman then you will the ones with a husband and ten kids lol. Of all my coaches only one was married with children. The others were just as sweet as could be, but no matter how much you didn't care, there'd be someone who would try to start ugly rumors about the coaches "looking at them oddly".

Anyhow, to the topic. I hated P.E., I've never been good at sports and never saw the purpose of running around the track like a dog chasing it's tail. I want a purpose when I do something and most of those things, to me, had no purpose. Like I was going to grow another foot taller and become a basketball player. I did play tennis for awhile...as my best friend and I decided it was the class with the least amount of work. It was true haha. When you watch tennis you see those heavy hitters..we had a few of those, but for the most part our class was more like golf club leisure type tennis lol, the type were you don't even break a sweat.

Anyhow, when I was a freshman in highschool I found out I was preggers so I got to walk around instead of actually do anything. But after I had my daughter, it was back to the group...yucks. We had one girl that every time she would do sit-ups she'd well umm pass gas. Needless to say, I felt so sorry for her. As we were all forced to be in a circle, almost toes touching.

Over-all, the worst moment for me, was while I was preggers. We had a sub and everyone was doing as they were suppose to, doing forward rolls down the mats and the teacher asked why I wasn't doing anything. And then told me that if I refused she'd leave a nasty note. I told her go ahead because I wasn't doing it. She never game me time to explain..baby in belly doesn't agree with forward rolls. Well she yelled at me, nearly bring me to tears, to get into line and I did. Then one of the more bullyish girls yelled at her and said that if I miscarried she's hunt her down haha. I'm not a in-your-face type person..so I didn't fight with the teacher. Anyhow, the teacher then looked at me with this stupid look and I simply said "yeah, I'm pregnant". She then told me to sit down and didn't look at me for the rest of the hour. Not only was I embarrassed because of the teacher yelling at me and me being overly emotional, but the way she gave me that "your an alien or freak of nature" look killed me. I went home and cried to my mom.

Another time, shortly after having my daughter, the teacher wanted me to go swimming. In a heavily chlorined pool, with umm stitches down yonder. I refused and she said if I didn't she'd fail me. So I was like whatever. Went home, told my mom...needless to say, I got an A after my mom threatened to sue the school. My mom is a scary person when dealing with teachers and school folks.

Now days, I work my fingers. That's about it.

[Julie Anne Long]

That's rough, Christie! What did you do when all the other kids were in the P.E. class? Did you feel like you were missing out? I bet some of your classmates envied you sitting it out. :)

[Diana]

I didn't love or loathe my P.E. classes. Most of my P.E. teachers in middle and high school were pretty nice. I've never been an athletic person, so I didn't excel in P.E., but I wasn't hopelessly uncoordinated either. I don't really exercise now. I'd like to start working out, but I'm lazy and unmotivated when it comes to exercising. I do try to walk instead of take the bus if I can.

Julie, have you ever seen the TV show "Freaks and Geeks"? It wasn't on for more than one season. Your blog about P.E. class reminded me of a couple of episodes from that show. If you've never seen the show, you should check it out on DVD. One episode featured a memorable dodge ball scene.

[Julie Anne Long]

Haven, re P.E. coaches—oy!! Sounds like you've had a few experiences!! Good for your mom for coming to your defense. And...well, the coaches I had in high school weren't that bad. Even Coach I with his "Sweat, you heifers!" was more amusing than sadistic. He was a long-suffering, basically nice guy. And re the woman P.E. coach and my Geometry teacher—that rumor was rather substantiated when we saw the two of them arrive together one morning on the Harley. LOL. Both were very nice women, and my Geometry teacher had a dry wit that I really appreciated. But a couple of my Junior High coaches were pretty awful. They seemed to take pleasure in watching kids double over and gag for breath after running around the field—sometimes they'd send us around again just for laughs. My personal trainer has since taught me that fitness doesn't necessarily require you to run until you feel like throwing up. LOL. Getting your heart rate up for a sustained amount of time will do the trick.

Ah, Diana, you were lucky. LOL. Oh, to do OK in P.E. class. What's P.E. like for kids these days, does anyone know? I mean, it's hard enough for teachers to be creative, I realize, but I keep thinking they could have made exercising so much more fun and interesting, rather than the torturous chore it was, and we would probably all be much more naturally into it today. I like running on my trampoline and listening to music, for instance—the carrot-and-stick for me is wanting to hear the next song and the next, so I keep running. I also like running up a few nearby steep hills (San Francisco is almost completely made out of hills) because my reward is an incredible view of the whole city and the bay. Other stuff—roller blading, hiking, etc., tennis, is kind of fun, too. Dancing around my office. LOL. That sort of thing. I think the trick for me is to get my mind engaged, too. (I know a number of people who might argue that it would do me some good to shut my mind *off* for a moment or two, however. LOL.)

And I haven't seen that Freaks & Geeks episode!! Dodge Ball. Oh man. What a barbaric sport. LOL. Imagine giving kids carte blanche to throw things ON PURPOSE at each other. I did love those rubber playground balls, though. (Huh. Suddenly I'm in the mood to play Four Square.) It's experienced a resurgence in popularity here in the city among grown people, actually. Dodge Ball has. I'll have to add that to my DVD list. :)

[Diana]

When I was a teaching assistant at an all-girls school, the kids in Lower School LOVED P.E. I was really impressed by the different sports, activities, and games that the kids participated in. The teacher made P.E. fun for the students. I wish my P.E. days were like that.

The hills of SF definitely count as a workout. I live in a hilly neighborhood and try to take advantage of that fact.

I didn't know dodgeball had made a comeback. I know there are adult kickball teams/leagues. I think it's more a social than athletic thing, though. I used to LOVE Four Square in elementary school.

[Kathy K]

I was never fond of PE; I'm not an athletic person at all and of my 5 brothers and sisters, the three immediately after me were all very active. I was the one that stayed home and read...still pretty much the same.

As for PE in school; the teachers were all okay, it was when they had "team sports" and left the selections up to the more active "team leaders"...gads it was depressing and I absolutey HATED it. Needless to say I was always one of the last, if not the last, chosen ~ even for something as innocuous as Red Rover. I think that's probably the most barbaric thing a teacher can ever do to a child; leave their being part of a team up to other kids. *shudder*

But I do like to swim and I'm GOOD at it, too. As good as, or better than, my siblings ~ which is saying a lot.

And I don't, really don't get enough activity in my days, never mind exercise. But I've always enjoyed going for walks and even in the winter it's okay, as long as I've got my toque and mittens on! LoL

Kathy ^.^

[Julie Anne Long]

Oh, good, Diana! I'm glad *some* kids *somewhere* are enjoying P.E. LOL. Perhaps they've made some improvements in education over the years. Actually, I walked by an elementary school the other and a bunch of little kids were out in the yard having P.E., and they were playing Red Light/Green Light (their teacher was calling out the commands). It looked like a blast. I totally wanted to play. LOL.

Yeah, San Francisco is a cardio city, for sure. As long as I live here, I should have decent calves. :) And maybe we can bring Four Square back!! LOL. I got one of those red rubber balls for Christmas one year, which was thrilling. I used to go down to school on the weekends and play wall ball (a sort of hand ball) with my friend Dana, because there was one fabulously tall wall perfect for it.

And Kathy, I'm noticing a trend here...I wonder if all bookworms are better at swimming than other sports?? I wonder what that's about? let's take a poll: who else here is better at swimming than other sports?? And I totally agree with you about letting kids choose teams. Talk about sadistic!! LOL. We used to line up randomly in a row, and the teacher would count us off, and the odd numbers would be one team and the evens the other. A slightly more merciful method.

Maybe you should get a trampoline, Kathy. LOL!

What kind of P.E. uniforms did you guys have?? I remember the boys had shirts they could turn inside out—blue on one side, goldenrod on the other. And big baggy white shorts. The girls were stuck with the above-mentioned polyester and stripes.

[Kathy K]

The swimming angle is cool; I never noticed that, but wouldn't that be something? I really wish that there was a lot more swimming in school...I'd have loved it!

I don't remember ever changing into other clothes for gym when we were in elementary school, but once you hit grade 7 then the dreaded locker rooms appeared. We didn't have uniforms, just shorts and a t-shirt and some sneakers. But man, I hated it; having to change made everything seem too 'sporty' for me and I wilted. In jr. high there was volleyball [not too bad], basketball [URK] and track-and-field [I want to disappear!] Then there was the co-ed dancing portion of the program...not only was I not thrilled with dance, I was very, very shy ~ and a nerd magnet. *sigh*
When I hit sr. high [grade 10], phys ed became an option ~ YES! someone up there liked me.

My youngest daughter is in grade 9 this year, the last year of junior high, and the school system has had to add 30 minutes a day of physical activity to each and every school day. But our school has added a weight-training element as well as various types of machines, etc. to the curriculum and have diversified the rest of the phys ed program so that there is something even for those who aren't as athletic. The jocks still have their sports and everyone has to participate to some degree, but there is something somewhere else for those who aren't into sports, team or otherwise. Schools seem to be finally figuring out that not all kids are the same ~ they don't all learn the same way and they don't all get the same enjoyment of the more traditional PE program. All I can say is "About time!"

But now I'm rambling, so I should probably just hang up my keyboard for now and go onto something different ~ dishes for instance.

Another terrific topic Julie; I love the diversity and being able to take trips down memory lane...even the not so pleasant ones, but it's always good to realize that everything that happened made me the person that I am today.

Okay, that's it...I'm gone ~ well, lurking anyway.

Have a great day!

Kathy ^.^

[Diana]

Well, I for one am NOT better at swimming than other sports because I don't know how to swim. I took lessons one summer when I was in high school, but I wasn't successful at learning how to swim.

My middle school P.E. uniform consisted of a blue and green T-shirt and blue shorts/sweats (school colors), and my high school P.E. uniform was a red and grayish-white T-shirt and red shorts/sweats (school colors again). I think the T-shirts may have been reversible.