I’ll be slow dancing (we’re talking very slow) with Hugh Laurie on the veranda of a villa high above the city. The only sound will be a single saxophone in the far, far distance, so faint we can only just make out the melody of “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.” The sky will be thick with stars and a sliver of bright moon is hanging up there, too, but there’s only just enough light for me to see how very soulful and blue Hugh’s eyes are, which is quite enough light, indeed. And in this particular fantasy, Hugh is both quite unmarried and smells really good (like…clean laundry and maybe a hint of something citrusy-spicy, but just a tiny hint—you know, that delicious clean warm man smell), and every now and then he'll purr a wry British witticism into my ear, but not too often, because he’s so overcome by my nearness that he’s gone a bit shy. And then, when the chime of a clock (also in the distance) tells us it's midnight, we'll stop dancing, and slowly, slowly move in for—
OK, are you guffawing yet? (Man, I just had a wonderful time writing that. I need a moment to collect myself.)
Anyhow, New Year’s Eve is upon us, and frankly, I really don't know how I’ll spend it, but obviously, I can think of how I’d like to spend it (see the first paragraph). I’ve experienced quite a few New Year’s eves so far in my life, and I’ve spent them in a delightful variety of ways: playing loud, drunken, dirty-word Pictionary with a group of friends; groomed elegantly within an inch of my life milling about with other people groomed within an inch of their lives, the only sounds the murmur of polite conversation and the genteel ting of crystal champagne glasses touching at midnight; playing guitar at a party with my band while drunken frat boys (is there another kind of frat boy? Forgive me, but I mean, really) chucked beer bottles at us; fending off drunken sloppy kisses at parties at midnight; deliberately moving in for a really good kiss in a quiet living room at midnight; feverishly writing twenty pages (that was last year); wearily crawling into the sack before the clock strikes 12 after watching fireworks on TV; or making a few fireworks of my own, if you get my less-than-subtle drift. (See first paragraph, if you don’t. It's along those lines.) I’ve seen any number of great bands on New Year’s Eve. I’ve lost my wallet. I've gotten a gnarly case of the flu. I’ve driven around literally for three hours looking for a place to park after a night out, when I lived in the Russian Hill neighborhood. And I've done many, many other things either much too mundane or too scandalous to mention.
New Year’s Eve is a pressure-filled holiday, especially if you live in San Francisco, because everyone who doesn’t live in San Francisco throngs to the city for the party at the Embarcadero (I used to do that, too). It’s nearly impossible to get around the city on New Year’s Eve—masses and masses of people fill the trains and buses, and it’s next to impossible to get a cab—and events are wildly expensive, for no reason except that it’s New Year’s Eve. I have to be in just the right mood to enjoy drunken throngs, and I don’t really feel that mood coming on this year (or this decade, really). So I’m at a loss. I might join some friends at a local bar for darts. I might write ten pages.
As for resolutions…oh, I have a slew of them. But I like to stagger the rollout of them throughout the year. LOL. I like to make sure I’m never without a “project” (and God knows, I'm nothing if not an ongoing project). One of my resolutions is to write a book so brilliantly entertaining that my agent, and then my editor, and then all my readers (in that order) pass out from the sheer wonderfulness of it after they read it. Because everyone needs a goal, right? (hee!) That one ought to keep me busy for a good portion of the year. :) Wish me luck with that.
Whatever you do, kittens, here's to a hope-filled, love-filled, laughter-filled, peace-filled, prosperity-filled, cream-filled (because hey, why not) 2007. What are you doing on New Year's Eve—any plans? What should I be doing? Do you have any resolutions?